Last week, I mentioned how forgiveness helps me be more unf*ckablewith. It turns out, there’s actually a definition in Urban Dictionary.
(adj.) When you are truly at peace and in touch with yourself, nothing anyone says or does bothers you, and no negativity or drama can touch you.
Today, I wanted to touch on how this relates to topics I have shared in the past:
- Nobody can make you feel a certain way unless you let them
- Being immune to criticism
- Changing your story and Brules (BS rules)
- How stories shape who you are and how you respond to life
Let’s look at that last bullet in a bit more detail. When you start telling yourself better stories, you get a better life. Here are a few of my steps to do this if you need a little help to get started:
- Realizing I am enough
- Not needing validation from others; again, nobody can make you feel anything
- Being a forgiveness machine
- Telling myself better stories; stories like, “I am good enough. I am my own person. It’s okay to stand out.”
One of the stories I use for myself when the crap hits the fan is pretty simple: I will be okay no matter what happens.
This leads me to something that I remind myself of every day: I am going to die. It’s not something we typically like to think about, but we all know it’s true. For me, remembering this is the best way I know to avoid sulking in any situation.
Steve Jobs once said, “Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”
I know this might be strange to some, but I actually carry a coin in my pocket every day that says (photos below). When things get tough, I touch it, and it reminds me that life is short. And whatever is bothering me at the time is probably not worth the time or energy I am spending worrying or being upset by it.
Here’s one of my own quotes that I feel hits this idea home even more: “Your life is up to you, and only you. Not your parents, boss, friends, neighbors. It’s you.”
In the coming weeks, I would challenge you to consider what it means to you to be unf*ckablewith in your own life. Are there ways you can practice those things to make them just a way of being? Life is good. – Jeff
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